You are old. Like, REALLY OLD. You’re so old you’re practically knocking on d e a t h ’s door. You probably have a cane, play a lot of Wii, and need a pair of bifocals to read this. It’s amazing that you even understand what the internet is because you’re so old. HAHAHA. Grab some cottage cheese and take out your dentures, because here are some tweets that are going to make you feel really old:
1. First off, SpongeBob SquarePants is so old that it now airs as part of Nick at Nite.
Like, what your grandma used to watch.
2. And Kenan and Kel are in their forties.
3. Blink-182 is now being played on classic rock stations.
4. And this year’s college freshmen have never lived in a world where this album didn’t exist:
5. If The Sandlot was created today and set the same number of years back, it’d take place in 1987.
The movie, which was released in 1993, was set 31 years earlier in 1962.
6. And if The Wedding Singer was created today and set the same number of years back, it’d take place in 2005. 2005!!!
The movie, which was released in 1998, was set 13 years earlier in 1985.
7. Lindsay Lohan is now older than the actress who played Meredith was when she was in The Parent Trap.
Lindsay is 32, while Elaine was 27 when the movie premiered in 1998.
8. While the actors who played the kids in Jurassic Park are now older than Laura Dern was when she starred in the movie.
Laura was 26, when Jurassic Park was released, while the actors who played the kids, Joseph Mazzello and Ariana Richards, are both in their thirties now.
9. And Jake Lloyd, who played Anakin, is now older than Ewan McGregor was when Obi-Wan in Episode I – The Phantom Menace.
Jake is 29 today, while Ewan was 28 when the movie premiered in 1999.
10. Speaking of Episode l, today we’re almost as far removed from The Phantom Menace as we were from the original Star Wars in 1999.
11. And speaking of the year 2000, it’s been 18 years since it was announced that these then-unknown actors would be playing the lead roles in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone:
I know, I know!
12. This year’s high school freshmen have never lived in world without Shrek and Elf…
13. …or where social media didn’t exist…
14. …and iPods have always existed for them…
15. …even if they don’t know what the hell they are:
16. If High School Musical 4 came out this year the movie could have taken place at their 10 year high school reunion.
17. Rookie of the Year is so old that it’s getting a remake.
18. Kids these days also have no idea what Game Boys are.
19. Also, they see the ’90s the same way we saw the ’70s:
20. You reminiscing about the 2003 VMAs would be like someone in 2003 reminiscing about the 1988 VMAs.
21. Also, “…Baby One More Time” is now older than “Like A Virgin” was when Britney and Christina performed at the 2003 VMAs.
22. And finally, this year marked the first time that people who were born in the ’00s are full-fledged adults.