This one’s tricky, to differentiate a real relationship from one that’s fake. What really is a fake relationship? It’s an illusion that you have come to believe, the illusion of a long-lasting relationship.
Many of us are in fake relationships, without even knowing. What you might be having is an affair, real relationships take a lot of efforts, no doubts there, but they are always better than fake ones in the long run. There is a big difference between someone just saying those lovey-dovey things to you and someone that actually means those things. There are a lot of things that need to be considered in order to be in a ‘real relationship’ because one can easily manipulate someone and fool them into believing that they actually love them. Most people try to get in relationships just to get in their pants’, or it is more like a time-pass’ kind of a thing.
Here are the red flags that you need to keep an eye out for and prevent yourself from being fooled.
1. The communication su-cks
Good communication is a requisite for a healthy relationship, if you are in a relationship where you two barely communicate, you can’t recall the last time you had a heart to heart with your partner, you just text each other every once in a while, it’s just on and off, you are unaware of what’s going on in the other person’s life and it generally feels like you don’t know the other person then you’re not really in a relationship. You have formed a real bond only when you feel connected with your partner; emotionally, physically, and mentally.
For example, if we talk about long-distance relationships. The communication is kind of the only thing the two have. They don’t get to see each other every day, they don’t get to go on a date with each other either, texting and calling each other is the only thing they have. Now, in order to stay together, they have to talk nearly all day long. You have to text them all the time to know what’s up’, you have to call quite often to know how they are doing, maybe a video call sometimes and go on a virtual’ date.
2. Too much PDA
This might come as a surprise, you two are practically nibbling on each other, isn’t that a good thing? No, it isn’t. This is indicative of over-compensatory and ostentatious behavior. You are trying to put on a show, make-believe. It’s a way of maintaining the illusion that you guys have created, to lie to yourself and the others around you. You might be in a fake relationship and still manage to hear things like; ‘What a perfect couple you guys are’, ‘You make us want to have a relationship’ etc. If you guys are not this crazy about each other in private but can’t keep your hands off each other as soon as you have company, then you have a few questions to ask.
This is not really something very unique, there are many real-life couples that actually do this. They put up a show every time they are out hanging with their friends, or at a party, dinner or whatever it is. They hold each other and smile together when they are in front of other people but as soon as they get in the car to go back to their home, it’s totally the opposite. You both need to talk to each other, know what’s going in the wrong direction and ask each other questions like do you even want to stay with each other.
3. There are no remarkable moments
The relationship just feels ‘normal’, nothing special. You guys don’t have any exceptional memories together, there are no extraordinary feelings attached to the time you guys spend together. This shouldn’t be the case, love is an exceptional feeling and if it feels anything less than amazing, you’re not really in love. This one’s tricky, to differentiate a real relationship from one that’s fake. What really is a fake relationship? It’s an illusion that you have come to believe, the illusion of a long-lasting relationship.
Many of us are in fake relationships, without even knowing. What you might be having is an affair, real relationships take a lot of efforts, no doubts there, but they are always better than fake ones in the long run.
There is a big difference between someone just saying those lovey-dovey things to you and someone that actually means those things. There are a lot of things that need to be considered in order to be in a ‘real relationship’ because one can easily manipulate someone and fool them into believing that they actually love them. Most people try to get in relationships just to get in their pants’, or it is more like a time-pass’ kind of a thing.Here are the red flags that you need to keep an eye out for and prevent yourself from being fooled.
4. There is a lot of confusion
Initially, we all are a little В hazy, not sure what to feel or if it’s okay to feel this way, unsure of your partner’s feelings, spending hours contemplating he loves me, he loves me not; but after you have spent notable time with your partner and В you can’t really give substance to how you feel or if your partner truly loves you and you are not trying to do anything about this disarray of feelings and continue to profess love then this is a classic sign of a fake relationship.
This is one of the things that you really DON’T want to have in your head while in a relationship. There has to be trusted and you have got to be completely sure about this person because you want to spend your whole life with this particular person. Even if it takes asking your partner, if he loves you or not, a hundred times, do that. Be a hundred and ten percent sure about that person, and then decide. Because you don’t want to live with this confused feeling your whole life and end up regretting.
5. Serious discussions are off-limits
This is an extension of bad communication, a couple has silly conversations as well as serious discussions.
You are wrong to think that a perfect relationship is one with no arguments and heated discussions, a happy couple talks about things that matter and it does not affect their love for each other. If you guys avoid having consequential conversations, talk about superficial things like the weather, then your relationship is too good to be true. If you really care about things, then there is no way you can go without arguments every now and then.
Opening up in front of someone is not really easy, telling that someone everything about you, your secrets, is not easy. Having that courage to open up in front of your partner is what’s needed. But if you two don’t know the real ins and outs about each other, for example, stuff from each other’s past and etc. Then well, you both need to sit and have that talk. Every couple fi-ghts at point or another, over one thing or another. It shows the passion is still in the relationship. I’m not saying every couple should discuss with each other all the time, but having a real argument about something reasonable is okay. For example, if you two do not argue about anything at all, it can mean that you two don’t really care about each other.
6. There is a power struggle
Letting go of your egos is essential for a sustainable relationship. You are in a relationship where someone always has to be right, it doesn’t matter how it affects your relationship, all that matters is being right! This means that there is a lack of love in the relationship because when you are in love you are more flexible, more concerned about your partner’s feelings, being right doesn’t always matter.
Remember, winning an argument is not really a win in a relationship. Comprising is a big part of a healthy relationship.
There can be times where the other person is wrong but you have got to step down to end the brawl or the argument. There is a chance that they understand what you are trying to say, some other time. Maybe they were having a bad time, they were mad at something else and your argument made them react in a way they wouldn’t have. Now, if you think that the perfect outcome of an argument with your partner is the one where you are always right in the end then it is not true love at all. You clearly don’t care about your partner, all you care about is being right.
7. There is s-xual chemistry….. ONLY
You guys are too hot for each other in the bed, but when it comes to talking and communication you guys are clueless or just not interested.
The only way you guys feel in sync is by means of physical contact, this simply means you are in a carnal relationship, once the infatuation loos, so will the relationship. This is a very common, characteristic sign of a relationship being timely.
Friends with benefits’ is clearly not the relationship you’re looking for here. The relationship where you want to have real feelings, trust, passion and feel loved. It was said earlier in the article that mostly a relationship is created just to get in your pants’. Many guys try to do that nowadays, they will say things to the girl that will make her feel like on top of the world, feel like she’s the only one for this guy, feel really loved, but it is only to have s-xual relations with that girl. Girls are considered to be emotional and have more feelings than the guys. Guys use this very fact to their advantage and use their feelings to get in bed with them. The guys know what the girls want to hear, so they start talking like that and make them feel they are in a true relationship. Again, not every guy is like that.
8. You don’t know each other’s family and friends
A person who is serious about you wants to make you a part of his life, will always introduce you to his friends and family. If it’s been a while and you still haven’t met each other’s family and it doesn’t seem to bother one or both of you, this means the person doesn’t want to get ‘too involved’ and has set limits to how far the relationship will go. And it is not just up to them, you have to ask them as well, because if you don’t care about meeting his friends or family either, then well, there is no love and affection from your side either. If the person is really into you and sees a future with you, he will very happily want to know more about your friends and family and want to meet them as well. Similarly, it goes for his side as well, if there is true love and that we’ll stay together forever’ feeling, he will want you to meet his circle of friends and family too.
This is how people reacted to this post:
GbrDiana – I may be in this situation with my bf. I have a feeling that love and relationships aren’t for me.
But I don’t want to end up lonely forever
Vivi Z – Omgg accurately right for me, I was in a relationship exactly what was all mentioned and I had to break up. It wasn’t good enough and was de-ad
Tacia Dessaix – This is soooo true. Time to wake up and see the real world and stop my delusional state of mind.
K. – When every point is right and you realize how much of yourself you’ve given, but your afraid to walk away with a broken heart…
Andrew Rees – My partner,wont accept I want out of my relationship, she just keeps on coming back , we not getting any younger.
This Article Was First Published on relrules.com